There is no psychological reason for this that stems from my past or anything like that, I just don't deal with it well.
I guess I get attached to people. I'm not the kind of person who makes friends with everyone, rather I have acquaintences and people that are my close friends, and when they leave me, I get quite sad. Last year, when people graduated, I wasn't too heartbroken. I didn't get super close to that class, and I felt like I had proper goodbyes. This year, was a bit more difficult, some dear friends left me. Granted, most of them are not too far away, but I still miss them.
Maybe it's a fear of losing people that mean so much to me, I don't know. But every time someone leaves me or I leave someone that I care about it, I just can't deal. I don't do the long distance thing, I'm bad at keeping up with people. Though there aren't too many people that I planned on keeping in touch with from high school, I epic failed at keeping in touch with some of my bests. And I don't want that to happen with my college friends.
Things have been ok so far. The internet has helped some. Though for some reason I'm not quite the instant messaging type. It gets the job done I guess, but I much prefer emails or phone calls. I think the best part has been that some of my favorite people have left me small pieces of their life and that has helped a lot.
Daniel left me his bike. Which I use everyday to get around.
Lauren left me cubes to organize my desk with, which I see all the time in my room.
Jo Ling left me her dying begonia which I water on a regular basis.
Saki left me a blanket, which I will be using often.
So to anyone who just graduated, who might be coming back, I'm a pack rat and will keep anything you give me. And to those who will be here after me, I'm already starting my legacy, so watch out for the gifts.
Moral of the story, I miss people, a lot, and it got more real when the last one left me on Saturday (Saki come back) and I want everyone to come back and just be in one place.
I still love you all even though you left.
Maybe it's a fear of losing people that mean so much to me, I don't know. But every time someone leaves me or I leave someone that I care about it, I just can't deal. I don't do the long distance thing, I'm bad at keeping up with people. Though there aren't too many people that I planned on keeping in touch with from high school, I epic failed at keeping in touch with some of my bests. And I don't want that to happen with my college friends.
Things have been ok so far. The internet has helped some. Though for some reason I'm not quite the instant messaging type. It gets the job done I guess, but I much prefer emails or phone calls. I think the best part has been that some of my favorite people have left me small pieces of their life and that has helped a lot.
Daniel left me his bike. Which I use everyday to get around.
Lauren left me cubes to organize my desk with, which I see all the time in my room.
Jo Ling left me her dying begonia which I water on a regular basis.
Saki left me a blanket, which I will be using often.
So to anyone who just graduated, who might be coming back, I'm a pack rat and will keep anything you give me. And to those who will be here after me, I'm already starting my legacy, so watch out for the gifts.
Moral of the story, I miss people, a lot, and it got more real when the last one left me on Saturday (Saki come back) and I want everyone to come back and just be in one place.
I still love you all even though you left.
I'm coming back in Sept w Jojo, BTW.
ReplyDeleteI miss you too, Elizabeth. I'm really bad at IM-type stuff too, despite how much I love Gchat. Give me a call sometime! :)
ReplyDelete