Wrap up

I just got back from the only personal vacation I've taken since March. I went to Texas with a friend to see someone who will be going abroad for the next academic year and will miss my freaking graduation.

Texas. Oh the Southwest. How I love thee.

I was born in a desert and have developed a love for the heat, I crave sunshine and that feeling when you sweat and all your skin gets super moisturized and it's awesome. So after being away from the California heat for a very long time, I really appreciated my brief time spent in Texas to relive my love for Cali.

In all honesty, we didn't do too much, I was the only one up for the heat really, so a lot of time was spent indoors watching tv and movies and chilling. Don't get me wrong, that was cool too, but I really like being outdoors and soaking in the sunlight. We did however spend a wonderful afternoon at the botanical gardens, complete with ridiculous pictures and plenty of fun. We also had lots of Sonic (if you don't know, don't even ask, it's just awesome) and then made dinner one night which was a big success.

The trip was great, but sad, cause it's the last time I'll be seeing a good friend of mine til January. I'm not a very emotional person, with certain exceptions, and goodbyes are one. I have a fear that people will leave me, and so goodbyes aren't the funnest. And I really don't like crying, especially in public.

I just got back and somehow I start school on Monday, which really freaks me out. I'm not ready for school to start, to write research papers and deal with people back on campus. I'm not ready for it to be real that people have graduated/gone abroad and won't actually be here for my last year. I'm not ready for summer to end. I'm not ready.

On the plus side, I feel like I grew a lot this summer. I've learned a lot about myself and other people and I feel like I've solidified relationships that mean the most to me and done away with others that I don't need in my life. So hopefully I'm on to better times and a great last year here at Oberlin.

OMG school.

personality types

Yes, I took the test and figured out my personality type. The description is almost perfect. If you want to find a description for your type, check out http://www.typelogic.com/

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

Functional Analysis

Introverted Sensing

As for ISTJs, the dominant Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Again, "for both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. ... A 'proper' chair has four legs," etc. (Jung saw IS as something of an oxymoron: sensing, which is a perceiving function, focused inward and thus away from that which is perceived (the "object"). In this light, he described this sensing as something removed from reality, full of archetypes/mythical figures/hobgoblins; sensing of one's own set of forms.)

Extraverted Feeling

A kind of "regression toward the mean" provided by the Fe auxiliary function serves to socialize the expression of these forms. I suppose it's the auxiliary nature of this Feeling, coupled with the balancing effect of {detachment from the internal idiosyncratic view of free-floating data perceptions} that makes ISFJs tentative, conservative, and reticent to boldly state the rights and wrongs in the relational world. (Loosely translated, ISFJs like to keep their perceptions to themselves, and aren't sure enough that what they "see" as Introverted Sensors has any relevance to the outside world. Thus the perception, based on unworldly data, may not be true. The obedient Extraverted Feeling function must therefore refrain from strong statements expressing these opinions.)

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is turned inward and is largely invisible. It is only with great difficulty, if at all, that the ISFJ could willingly commit anyone to their doom. Perhaps this explains why ISFJs are loyal to the end; there is no sense of purely objective (i.e., impersonal) judgement of anyone but themselves (and that only by their own standards). Here is this type's achilles heel that makes many of them so vulnerable to the scoundrels and ne'er-do-wells who often use and abuse them.

Extraverted iNtuition

ISFJs are easily undone by Extraverted iNtuition, their inferior function. Believing in the fantastic, and disbelieving the technologically extant, are errors that my guide the gullible (or unfoundedly sceptical) ISFJ off a precipice of mis-conclusion. (One of our co-workers' mothers adamantly refused to believe that Dave Letterman's mom was actually at the olympics in Norway talking with the athletes and handing out hams! She suspected technological trickery.)

This childlike Ne is, however, the likely source (coupled with fun-loving Extraverted Feeling) of the practical joking, punning and (usually harmless) impishness of some ISFJs.

Famous ISFJs:

St. Teresa of Avila (Teresa de Jesus)
Louisa May Alcott
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Queen Elizabeth II of England
Robert E. Lee
Queen Mary I ("Bloody Mary") of England

Fictional:
Bianca in Taming of the Shrew
David Copperfield
Hero in Much Ado About Nothing
Melanie in Gone With The Wind
Ophelia in Hamlet
Dr. John H. Watson, M.D. (Sherlock Holmes' faithful sidekick)

U.S. Presidents:

William Howard Taft

Johnny Carson, comedian
Robin Roberts (Good Morning America)
Kristi Yamaguchi, US Olympic figure skater
Ed Bradley, journalist

I'm an attached sort of person

I don't deal well with people leaving me.

There is no psychological reason for this that stems from my past or anything like that, I just don't deal with it well.

I guess I get attached to people. I'm not the kind of person who makes friends with everyone, rather I have acquaintences and people that are my close friends, and when they leave me, I get quite sad. Last year, when people graduated, I wasn't too heartbroken. I didn't get super close to that class, and I felt like I had proper goodbyes. This year, was a bit more difficult, some dear friends left me. Granted, most of them are not too far away, but I still miss them.

Maybe it's a fear of losing people that mean so much to me, I don't know. But every time someone leaves me or I leave someone that I care about it, I just can't deal. I don't do the long distance thing, I'm bad at keeping up with people. Though there aren't too many people that I planned on keeping in touch with from high school, I epic failed at keeping in touch with some of my bests. And I don't want that to happen with my college friends.

Things have been ok so far. The internet has helped some. Though for some reason I'm not quite the instant messaging type. It gets the job done I guess, but I much prefer emails or phone calls. I think the best part has been that some of my favorite people have left me small pieces of their life and that has helped a lot.

Daniel left me his bike. Which I use everyday to get around.
Lauren left me cubes to organize my desk with, which I see all the time in my room.
Jo Ling left me her dying begonia which I water on a regular basis.
Saki left me a blanket, which I will be using often.

So to anyone who just graduated, who might be coming back, I'm a pack rat and will keep anything you give me. And to those who will be here after me, I'm already starting my legacy, so watch out for the gifts.

Moral of the story, I miss people, a lot, and it got more real when the last one left me on Saturday (Saki come back) and I want everyone to come back and just be in one place.

I still love you all even though you left.